The luxury of uncertainty.

11.05.18

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I’ve seen people of all ages and backgrounds and social statuses limit themselves because of commonly held “expectations”.

That they “SHOULD” be:

working by their mid-20s. In a “stable relationship” by their early 30s.Have a “stable career.”

and for some arbitrary reason people seem to pursue some notion that the goal in life is to be stable and to be stable you have to “settle down”,

and “settling down” means:

establishing roots, finding a place “you belong” (mortgage, credit, w/e)“starting a family” etc.

Most importantly they let this be an excuse not to pursue what they actually want to do: learn something new, move somewhere else, or even just buying a purse or computer because they need to save up for some impending mortgage.

I’m not saying don’t plan for the future.

What I’m saying is don’t limit the future.

Your life is YOURS.

No one but you can dictate what you can or will do.

It is a rather common procedure that most people seem to pursue/go though:

They study, they fuck about, get a job, get married and they live happily ever after. Stability and happiness is the “ultimate goal”.

Stability isn’t defined by good credit or a job with a high salary.

Happiness isn’t about rushing into a marriage and creating a family by a certain age.

Define your own goals for YOUR life.

You may be happy living a life alone, or you may simply find the idea of a “career” undesirable and prefer to go from job to job. It is your life.

Since you’ve chose to live it, live it with your choices - not that of others’.

Right now I want to finish my undergraduate degree and then hopefully get a relatively stable job and pursue a masters. And then hopefully get another relatively stable job and pursue some other degree whether a phd or masters in something I’m interested in - maybe in Japan? Taiwan? New York? Not because I want the fancy degree to get a fancy job, but because I don’t see a point in living life where I’m on auto pilot.

I don’t see a reason to “settle down”, my life is far from over.

Why live in one place for the rest of your life and go on scheduled vacations when you can move every year?

Why pursue a set career when you can learn a new skill and pursue a new one?

Granted, these are selfish and self-fulfilling goals, but a life lived for others is not one truly lived by and for oneself.

I’m tired of living, waiting for my loved ones to die so I too can die guilt-free.

These life paths set in stone hold no interest for me, so I chose to set my own path.

I used to loathe, and even fear uncertainty, but it is the uncertainty of the future that makes life worth living.

I mean, are you really living if you aren’t truly here?

Living means tasting the food you are eating, breathing the air that flows through your lungs, and actively engaging in SOMETHING,

ANYTHING - whether it be tactile, tangible, palpable or immaterial or perhaps abstract.

I like to live in my head.

Sometimes it is a living hell, but the more I neglect the streams of thoughts that flow through, the more likely that it will overload and explode.

I want to get a job so to appease my financial needs, and pursue a degree so I can gratify my seemingly endless curiosity - my “spiritual, cognitive needs” - by actively engaging in abstraction with a guided purpose - academic rigour, instead of falling into aimlesss pensiveness.

Or perhaps I will get a job that is straight forward and 1 + 1, cognitively undemanding so to speak, so I can stay engrossed in whatever thoughts I were to ponder on whilst being able to appease my financial needs - which should then permit me to explore other desires, whims and fancies.

To others it may sound like self torture, to pursue an academic and occupational path at the same time - but for me it is an exhilarating notion that opens up more possibilities and more ways to indulge in life. At least for the current moment.

Nothing is certain, and that is the beauty of uncertainty - anything can be changed anytime, anywhere - and YOU can be the one to inflict the change.

Never forget that you are in control.

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